1 April 2020
Wednesday · Day 6 of lockdown
Taxi associations in South Africa threatened a nationwide strike in response to the lockdown restrictions that only allowed taxis to operate at 50% capacity. Gauteng still had the most active coronavirus cases. The Western Cape had the second most active cases. The investment ratings agency, Moody’s, downgraded a number of state-owned enterprises to sub-investment grade. Countries around the world planned attempts to repatriate their citizens. The Zaandam cruise ship sailing towards the Florida coast had 83 passengers and 136 crew on board exhibiting flu-like symptoms. The ship also reported that eight passengers had tested positive for the coronavirus and four passengers had died, although the causes of their deaths were not known.
I’ve missed the last few days of reflections on account of my mental health … being home for extended periods of time presents some challenges, like not having any time or space to myself. This experience has revealed to me that I’m not very adaptable, and in times of stress, I shut down. The lockdown has been difficult for me (and many people across the globe, I imagine) in that sense.
I’ve had to start taking my antidepressants again. We can’t pacify ourselves with alcohol, tobacco, drugs, food and whatever else in the same way we did before the lockdown.
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Even though I had nothing to do over the past few days, I have been very lazy! I find that hilarious and disturbing at the same time. On one hand, having nothing to do makes you anxious and keen to get going, on the other it encourages lethargy. The days are starting to merge into one. […] My regard for time has gone out the window.
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There are 16 days left until the ‘end of lockdown’, but from the knowledge I have gathered from news, statistics and my parents, I really don’t see that happening. The economy is struggling, businesses are losing money by the minute and profits are dwindling, unless you count supermarkets and essential service providers. Even pastors are struggling and have had to shift their thinking. Most churches require people to congregate regularly, but that has become impossible. Today I spoke to a friend of mine whose parents are both pastors. Covid-19 has forced them to close their church. This means they cannot preach to their church members in the traditional way. Instead, they have had to go online. This has proven difficult because people are so used to interacting and praising in person. Attendance at online services has been less than they hoped, and their salaries have dropped drastically.
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Today I experienced, more consciously than ever before, just how dependent the world is on the internet. The absence thereof is truly an impediment on our ability to execute our daily tasks. This is because our Wi-Fi is not working. We can’t seem to fix it, and due to lockdown regulations, cannot even get a technician in to fix the problem. The only temporary solution we have is for all five of us to share my personal Wi-Fi modem that I got when Inetkey at Stellenbosch University was still a very expensive item on a student budget.
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I found today to be a rather mentally challenging day. Up until now, I have been very good at remaining positive and optimistic about the future and dealing with lockdown, but today that energy wasn’t there. I really felt claustrophobic and overwhelmed when I came to the disappointing realisation that we have only been in lockdown for six days. I miss my friends more than ever. I miss my boyfriend. I miss my family. I miss the beach and the outdoors. I miss going for an innocent jog around my neighborhood. Yes, I am staying in contact with these people in my life through face time, phone calls and messaging, but it’s just not the same. I am craving human interaction.
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Yesterday I was watching the CNN News Channel around noon. They were just beginning to cover a story (in America, of course) about a single mother of six children who had previously won her battle against breast cancer. Her children became worried after their mother began showing severe symptoms related to the virus. They rushed her to hospital. Two weeks later she passed away as a result of Covid-19. The children’s father had passed away in 2011.
Due to the strict regulations imposed to control the spread of the virus, the family had to say their final goodbyes via walkie talkie, whilst looking at their mother from behind a glass screen.
Although not quite the same, my family too has felt first hand the effect of such regulations. Five weeks ago, my mother underwent a hysterectomy, and after many complications, it was discovered she had arrhythmia (an irregular heartbeat). Yesterday we took her to the hospital to have a cardiac ablation procedure. Due to fears of the spread of the virus, not one of my family members was allowed to accompany my mother into the hospital or to see her before, during and even after the surgery. This was very scary.
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Wednesday – otherwise known as Hump Day, since it’s the middle or peak day of the week – called for a lazy day, so my sister and I slept till noon and didn’t do much else with the day. Spending time with the family and appreciating each other has become something of the norm and I’m quite enjoying it. This much time without any new stories is prompting my parents to tell old stories from when they were our age – some are very relatable, and others are just plain interesting.
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I didn’t really think about what is happening in the world today. It almost feels as if I have lost contact with the outside world, and I am living in my own world. The isolation has become my reality […] so much changed in a week.
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There are few things as satisfying as when your cash flow statement balances … at least when you are in lockdown and have to walk into the same rooms and see the same people every day. This morning I started my Financial Management project that I have been putting off for longer than I would like to admit. The feeling of having accomplished something – even if it is just having finished half of a section of a three-section project – is a feeling I welcome. There is one feeling that I hate more than anything and that is the feeling of aimlessness. Unfortunately, the past few weeks have been filled with feelings of aimlessness and to accomplish something small like balancing a cash flow statement or getting up and doing a small at home workout really helps me to get through the day.
I have been ploughing through books, and this afternoon, I’m going to try look for some interesting reads and download new books instead of anxiously checking the news every five seconds. Twitter has been both a blessing and a curse in this time. It allows for quick transmission of news which helps when I would like updates on the latest news that other online platforms have not yet published, but on the other hand, because it is such a ‘fast’ space, it generally makes me feel very anxious, so I have been trying to limit my time scrolling through my Twitter feed.
One thing I am grateful for is that I am not currently in America. This is always my sentiment but at the moment, with Donald Trump in charge of managing the Covid-19 outbreak, I feel gratitude particularly strongly. In a matter of a few days, they have managed to top the list of international Covid-19 infections which I find a little worrying.
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It’s April fool’s day today. I’m hoping that tonight the government will make an announcement saying that the whole virus pandemic was just one big April fool’s joke, but maybe that is a bit of stretch. Currently the number of infected nationwide stands at 1 353, and the number seems to be gradually increasing. Today is the sixth day of lockdown, there have been a few people who have tried to ignore the lockdown rules, but the police force and army seem to be enforcing the law. There have been some instances where the police and army have been seen abusing their power; this could lead to a huge unrest among the people if the situation is not dealt with as quickly as possible.